Disney World recap 2017 (hint: it involves a hurricane)

Everybody smile like you’re having a good time.—Said some woman outside of Thunder Mountain Railroad who was probably talking to her children.

I AM BACK. And I did have some fun. So there’s that.

Also, in a surprising turn of events, my family and I did not die, which is what I would call a successful vacation.

But in all seriousness, I learned a good handful of things about hurricanes while we were in Florida.

1. If you want to have a whole plane all to yourself, always fly right before a hurricane. (I technically learned this in the Indianapolis Airport.)

34 people. 34 people including us, plus the crew. That was everyone on our flight down to Orlando…and it was amazing. There were no loud children (more on that later), you could sit wherever you pleased, and you could get honey roasted peanuts and pretzels. #Blessed.

2. If you fly into the eye of a hurricane for a vacation, your flight attendant will think you’ve gone nutters. (Still in Indianapolis, but I was on the plane. Surely this half-counts??)

In our defense, it was fly down directly before Irma or push our trip back to January, so we decided to do the responsible thing. WE FLEW DOWN ANYWAY, WOOT-WOOT!! Our flight attendant, Judy, kinda thought we were crazy, but not as crazy as some other passengers who were flying down to visit friends.  Even I have to draw the line somewhere.

3. If you go to a Park the day before or a few days after a hurricane, you can walk on any ride. (Okay, I was obviously in Florida now.)

At this point, you might be noticing a pattern: hurricane = no people. And this was true and awesome for the Parks, but it was not true for our Resort.

Port Orleans Riverside was cram-packed full of people. Some (like us) had decided to fly down early. A few had decided to extend their vacation and wait out Irma. Some were employees and were staying there so they didn’t have to worry about getting to work. Some were hired by Disney in case the power went out. And some were evacuees who decided to shelter at a Disney Resort, because why not?

But yeah, Toy Story Midway Mania was like a two-minute wait. ‘Nuff said.

4. If you are going to be confined to your room for two days, YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE WITHOUT BUTTER.

I’m serious. I saw a lady grab at least two handfuls of little butter packets at the food court, and I don’t know how we survived without them. We didn’t stock up on ketchup or salt or jam or hot chocolate or mayonnaise. Like what am I going to do without 25 packets of mayo?? Obviously, it’s a miracle that my family and I are still alive.

5. If you were wondering how bad Hurricane Irma actually was at Disney, you should not consult the news.

Listening to the news made it sound like tornadoes being formed by the winds were headed straight for Disney and other theme parks with one mission: to destroy everything. 

This was not what happened. We did have lots of rain and strong winds with plenty of tree limbs down and even a whole tree here and there, but that was it. A guy on the bus from the Keys said it was more of a category 1 than a category 3 as far as hurricanes are concerned. And while that was a good thing, listening to the news was much more exciting.

6. If you want to have a whole plane slightly to yourself, always fly five days after a hurricane.

It was 55 passengers plus crew this time, which is still significantly less than the norm. However, we only got honey roasted peanuts and there was a young child shouting “hello” a bunch of times. I’m not really sure what that was about.

So there you have it.

Other than all the hurricane-related stuff, we had a decent time.

The low points included (1.) the weird smell in the Bayou section of Riverside, and (2.) the oven called the Sun that was baking our skin off after the hurricane.

The high points included (1.) Kungaloosh—an African chocolate cake with caramelized bananas and cashew-caramel ice cream topped with coffee dust—which may be the greatest dessert I have ever tasted. (2.) The special effects of the new Flight of Passage ride over at Animal Kingdom (especially how you could feel your Banshee breathing as you were riding it.) And (3.) the fact that we got the same narrator/historian dude from the Frozen Sing-Along that we had last year. You, Sir, are amazing.

•••

P.S. Dear Disney, I love Beauty and the Beast, Muppet’s Treasure Island, Brave, The Santa Clause, The Little Mermaid, and Tron Legacy as much as the next person, but that does not make it okay to play them five times each on the complimentary Disney Movie channel while we were confined to our rooms. You’ve made at least 100 well-known movies, not to mention all the Marvel and Star Wars films you have the rights to. Some variety would be nice.

Love,

Someone who will go crazy if they hear the opening music of Beauty and the Beast one more time.

Via GIPHY

So, what are your thoughts? Did Irma affect the weather in your area?? Do you enjoy watching the same movies over and over and over again?