Disney World recap 2018 (hint: it involves shawarma)

What is Star-Lord doing with his face

On a bus.

A dad to his son: Sometimes things in life don’t go the way we expect.

Son: I expect that car to go straight.

Daughter (while bus is turning): I expect this bus to turn.

After about three years (or three weeks)(whatever), I am back. And once again, my family and I did not die. But more on that later.

If there was a lesson or moral to be tagged to this story it would be one of these—Rain can act as payback, the U.S. Postal Service cannot be relied upon, funny waiters are my favorite waiters, Disney stinks at marketing Marvel merch, and children are 100% funnier than everyone else.

Right. So you possibly want explanations if you weren’t there. Or if you were there, hiding in a bush the entire time or something.

Let’s start with the mail. (Whether this has anything to do with our vacation or not, I’ll let you be the judge.)(Actually, I won’t, because I need to vent.)

• As many of you should know, May 13th was Mother’s Day.

My brother and I ordered a super epic gift that was supposed to come the Monday we left. Preferably before we left. So we could, you know, gift it to the woman who birthed us on Mother’s Day. This was not what happened.

It was in Rockville but had yet to be delivered on Monday.

My brother pretended to spill something on his shirt so he would have to change it. I pretended to be going to the bathroom for twelve minutes. Our car wouldn’t start and we had to hitch a ride with my Papa. AND THE MAIL STILL DID NOT GET HERE. (Side note: our car is now fixed. Yay.)

• Whenever we go to Disney World, we get the dining plan.

Without it, we might as well not even go. Because FOOD.

Over the course of our vacation, we had some awesome waiters and waitresses. They’re always great at Disney, but this time we had some particularly funny ones. At Whispering Canyon Cafe, our waitress Lauren was hilarious and reminded me of Lorelai Gilmore (who was played by someone named Lauren.) We got a FastPass that could be used for anything (basically the Golden Ticket from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) from our waiter at Jungle Skipper Canteen. And our waiter from Les Chefs de France, Joaeo, was the best waiter we’ve ever had at that restaurant.

Also, this was my dessert from Les Chefs de France. I felt bad eating its perfect swan head.

• When I said that Disney World’s Marvel marketing was a disaster, it kinda was and kinda wasn’t.

The disaster part was that they were only selling five Infinity War shirts, and two were for children, and the only nice adult one had a dumb Thanos quote on it. They were also selling IW toys—one of them being a bow with arrows. Because Hawkeye was totally in that movie. A+ Disney World.

A good part of their marketing was using an entire bus as an Avengers: Infinity War ad.

I would buy this and live in it.

The first time we saw this bus it left without us. Obviously, it wasn’t with us till the end of the line.

Also, because I’m talking about Marvel stuff, we tried Shawarma in Morocco at Epcot.

It was made up of chicken, lamb, a flatbread, hummus, tabouleh (which should be the salad greens), and couscous salad. And it was delicious.

Via GIPHY

• Now with the rain.

It rained three times while we were at Disney World. (However, it did not rain when we needed to get to Italy, so the jinx is officially broken.)

One of the days it rained was Mother’s Day.

We were on the boat to go back to our resort when it started, and it blew through the window right into my face. This was after we made Mom sit in the front row on Splash Mountain and she got completely soaked. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

• Lastly, we came in contact with many funny children during our trip.

When we were on Flight of Passage (a simulated, slightly roller-coaster-y type ride), we had a bunch of tween girls in our section who screamed at every movement of the ride. And at one point, one of them shouted above the screaming to tell the others to shut up.

Also, we had this gem, at the Frozen Sing-Along, at the end of Love is an Open Door.

Hans: Can I say something crazy? Will you marry me?

Anna: Can I say something even crazier? Yes!

Little girl behind us: That’s not crazy.

So that was our vacation. And even though it was a bit busier than it was during Hurricane Irma last year, it was still pretty great.