how to get comfortable while reading

If you’ve ever even thought about reading, you’ve had this problem. It doesn’t matter if you’re reading from a book, magazine, tablet, ancient scroll, or milk carton—the process of reading has one fatal flaw: you cannot stay comfortable for more than fifteen minutes.

It doesn’t matter what position you’re in. Standing up or sitting or lying down. On your back or on your stomach or on your head. You’ll lose circulation, get a cramp, or your right hand will fall off. Nothing works—and this post probably won’t either.

You’re welcome.

Step One:

Go to your favorite reading spot: be it your bed, an oversized chair, the floor, the ceiling, or a tower that no one can get into unless you let down your long hair.

Step Two:

Accumulate various blankets and pillows to spread about lavishly if you have not done so already.

Step Three:

Remove all humans (or loud cats that make cooing noises in their sleep) from the premises if you expect that they will mess with your reading chi.

Step Four:

Either commence reading in the most uncomfortable position you can think of, so as to build endurance and add time to your reading when you switch to a more comfortable position…Or treat yo self and start comfy and deal with the deadly consequences later when your legs go numb.

Step Five:

Walk laps around your room while reading whenever you are stricken with numb limbs or pins and needles. Only do this step if you have a lot of faith in yourself and are not known to run into things often. (There are at least two people reading this that should not do this step.)

Step Six:

Acquire food. Especially food of the small, bite-sized variety. Anything that’s not messy that you can eat with one hand (or one foot) is a plus. Like Swiss chocolates, or grapes, or the eyes of your enemies. Whatever you have on hand will do.

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Step Seven:

Read upside-down. There is a 0% chance this will be comfy and once you’re done, your face will feel purple and you might look like Thanos, but it’s fine.

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What are your secrets to getting comfortable whilst reading? Do you have a favorite reading spot? Or a favorite delicacy to eat while you read??